Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
