Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
