she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
