i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Apparently you make a good broom.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I want to be your penis for a week.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
