found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize