he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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