I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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