Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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