Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
