So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
