Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
