I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
