Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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