I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
