The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
