Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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