end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
you would pick up someone in the library
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Randomize
