The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
