Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
