I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
