It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
