Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
