I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
