im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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