I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
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