Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
