is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
