Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
