How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
