Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
