I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
