If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
