Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
