??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You dont lie about slip and slides
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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