that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
do herpes really smell.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
