He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
