billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
