So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
So much rum. So many feels.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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