Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
