it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize