first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
