NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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