Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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