I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
