if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
