Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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