i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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