She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
