I'm jealous of your bromance
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
