I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
then he tried to convert me to islam
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
